Jobs Thoughts and Such

After feeling very uncertain and lost, I think I know for sure (as of right now) what I want to do. But the road is still full of questions.

Ever since I got my license and first started looking for jobs years ago, there was always a feeling of total “UGH” jolting in my stomach when I’d even just think about going to one of those job sites. This intense feeling of dissatisfaction and hindrance. Sure, no one really likes looking for jobs. But it was always this immediate knowing inside of me that was saying, you weren’t meant to live this. No, this isn’t for you. I’ve tried to ignore it for the most part. I still have bills and while I live with my family, they’re also in retirement age after working pretty much all their lives, so while I’m aiming to eventually move, I also feel I must pick up some financial gaps around here. I am 26 and way past being a child. But isn’t it so annoying to have this inner knowing scream at you and for you to do nothing about it, or now know it and just don’t see how you can put more time into it while still making money? Much needed money at that.

Sometimes I have to sit back and place my hand on my stomach and say,  what are you trying to tell me? It can’t be just “these jobs aren’t for you” jolts. I’ll get to the bottom of it.

I feel I have gotten over my initial disgust with service work. I’ve heard things being suggested to me like being a nurse or therapist, and the alike. But these are things that were suggested based on their best judgment and what they could see in me. I am not interested in the traditional, professional paradigm of business. Or traditional care work. But I still have a desire to help people. I have done so much work on myself and now after experiencing what it’s like to live in truth and wholeness, I just want to give people the nurturing and guidance I wish I had all these years. I have even heard that I need to work for myself and be my own boss. I didn’t take this seriously before, thinking that I was going to have to run a business from a typical brick-and-mortar standpoint. But I see how limited that thinking was. It doesn’t have to be anything like that. I thought maybe I was going to have to bring in employees and boss them around. But maybe it can be a party of “one” for now. I don’t know much about writing and blogging but I know it will be used to share my experience and guidance. Hopefully to help people see things from a different stance and help train them into being their own leaders and personal healers.

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